The Blonde Driver

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for
speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down
her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red
sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works.

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your
drivers license?"

"What's a license???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away
the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

"It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After
fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now
may I see your registration?" asked the cop.

"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde.

"It's usually in your glove compartment." said the cop
impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the
registration.

"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his
car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the
woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the
dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports
car?"

"Yes." replied the officer

"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher

"Uh... yes." replied the cop.

"Here's what you do." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff
back, and drop your pants."

"What!!? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the
cop.

"Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and
registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.

The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another
breathalyzer......"

~Escaping A Burning Building~
A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into. The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato. "C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead. "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake. Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!" "No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the Blonde. "No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!" "Look," the Blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."


~The Young Ventriloquist~.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person.......because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large.......all in the name of humor. Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little bastard on your knee!"


Blonde in the Cornfeild
One day, a blonde was driving in her car and noticed a blonde sitting in the middle of a cornfield in a rowboat. Having just heard numerous blonde jokes on the radio, the blonde in the car just cracks it. She pulls over, gets out of her car and shouts "Your the reason us blondes have a bad name! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and punch you!"

A Very Puzzled Blonde

John gets a call from his very blonde girlfriend Buffy.

"I've got a problem," says Buffy.

"What's the matter?" asks John.

"Well, I bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of
the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?" asks John.

"It's of a big rooster," replies Buffy.

"All right," says John. "I'll come over and have a look."

So he goes over to Buffy's house and she greets him by saying,
"Thanks for coming over." Buffy leads John into her kitchen and
shows him the jigsaw puzzle on the kitchen table.

John looks at the puzzle and then turns to her and says, "For
heaven's sake, Buffy, put the corn flakes back in the box."


A smart blonde, a dumb blonde, the tooth fairy, Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are walking down the street when they notice a bill on the ground. Which one picks it up?
The dumb blonde because none of the others exist!


What's the advantage of being married to a blonde? You can park in a handicapped zone.

How does a psychic refer to a blonde? Light reading.

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.